Are there any deep-seated beliefs you wish you could throw out the window? I’ve got some: Skinny people are more likely to be loved. Struggle is a sign I picked the wrong path. We should pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. Money makes all the decisions. The lighter a person’s skin is, the more trustworthy they are.

It’s hard to admit these ideas pop up in my thought processes. I really want to be in the world and not of it, but it feels like I’m surrounded with messages trying to convince me these ideas are true. I’ve fought them and read better ideas and memorized some scripture over the years, but when I gain five pounds, I panic. When I tell my kids “no” to some treat, I feel trapped by my budget. If I can’t help my child calm down, I feel I’ve failed. I tend to feel like a failure when I’m uncomfortable around race conversations or need help of any kind.

A lot of these lies were handed down to us, if not in words, by example.

They feel like the monster thorn bush behind the garage that no matter how many times I cut it down and dig it out, it sends up little shoots in new places. Thankfully, my soul gardening hasn’t been left  to me. God promises to prune me and make something from my beautiful mess. I’m inviting Her to pull these ideas out so me and other people can stop being jabbed by them. I’m also following Beth Moore’s advice to confess God’s truth. We all talk to ourselves, but we aren’t always truth-full.

While I’m reciting scripture, I’m asking God to refresh me like a web page. I’m the page that loads with half the information and some of it’s in code. I need to be reconnected to my source so I can draw new, correct information. She told us we’d need this, and Her plan is to transform us. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind… Romans 12:2

Don’t be discouraged when you discover worldly lies in your mental habits or emotional responses. We know from the Bible that God is like a candle seeking out our dark parts to bring light to our whole being. This process does not overwhelm or surprise Her, though it does me sometimes. God is fully capable of making us love the way She loves. The best thing we can do, is admit when we see where lies have seeped in and are weighing us down and let Her show us a new way, a lighter way.