Do you ever feel disbelief when you hear the phrase, You are enough? It’s an anecdote to all the messaging that says we need to be different to have value. We need to be more efficient, more beautiful, more creative, more brilliant, more wealthy. Is there an area where you feel distinctly not enough? I have lots, but parenting is been a biggy for me.
I experience fatigue as a side effect of ADHD and kids are so very energetic. Once, when my husband was out of town, I was especially worn down. I told the kids I was feeling grumpy but wanted to have fun with them, so I suggested getting fast food where we could eat outside and enjoy the weather. We arrived and ordered, but while we ate, I struggled to look interested in their long stories, struggled to laugh at their jokes, just struggled.
When we got home, I sat on the couch and cried. They came and sat on either side of me, patting and waiting. When I was calm, I told them they’re the best kids ever to snuggle me while I cried. They asked what was wrong and I said, “I just wanted to be a fun, sweet mom tonight and couldn’t do it. Sometimes it feels like I’ll always be this tired and it makes me sad.”
One kid said, “You’re still the best mom in the world.”
I said, “Really? How do you feel that when I’m grumpy? Do you just remember times when I’m not?”
“Yeah.”
Then my son said, “Mom, you’ve taken care of us all these times. You’re the reason we are the way we are.”
Now if my heart were an ocean, their words were a stone that sunk all the way to the bottom, to the very spot where I feel I’m not enough for my kids. Godde was talking to me, reminding me I’m not the sum total of my worst moments. Godde isn’t one of those who pulls a misdeed out of context and colors who we are with that one crayon. That’s actually the Accuser’s trick and we’d do well to see it coming. Godde knows those misdeeds are out of character for us because She’s made us into new creatures who’s life pulse is to love. Grace snatches up the misdeeds, hurling them into the deep.
God was talking to me, reminding me I’m not the sum total of my worst moments.
Godde invites us to see ourselves as good, to believe what She says about us being delightful and wonderful. We are not everything, though we hear demands to be, but we are wonderful. Maybe that’s why Jesus said His yoke is easy. Easier than trying to be everything or trying to be Godde. Jesus never asked so much of us and when we bring our little bit of wonderful to Him, it becomes enough.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NLT
