On a Sabbath morning in 2008, I had a very strong impression I was to write about the things God has done in my life. When I initially contemplated this, my mind overflowed with topics I could write about. Excitement filled me as I had wanted to share these things with people for a long time. Without a doubt, I was convinced this impression had come from the Holy Spirit.
Yet, as I continued thinking over the following few days, doubt crept in. How could I believe God would want me to do such a task? I am an average person with average experiences. My education was not in writing or theology. Then I started telling God, “You have the wrong girl. I am not a theologian. I don’t have time. Are You serious?!? I have no training. I am far too busy!”
It was true, I was busy! At home I had four active children who needed me, and a marriage which was in serious trouble. Having finished nursing school the year before, I had a full-time job. Unfortunately, it was for a company where bullying was the norm and I struggled to keep my angry supervisor somewhat happy. For about two years I procrastinated writing and argued with God about it. After leaving my full-time job with nowhere to go and eventually starting six part-time jobs to make ends meet, I could not fight it anymore.
That is how I started writing — in a hotel on a trip out-of-state with one of my jobs. A couple years after I started writing, my marriage ended. Writing had been a big part of my life and my relationship with God. It had become part of my worship to God. However, I no longer was able to write very much. It seemed there was nothing but pain and no good ending. When I did try to write, it usually was a tearful experience, so I almost completely stopped for a period of years.
While I am still unclear if God wants me to do this for others or for me, I write about lots of different topics. Sometimes I write in a devotional format and other times I write essay style. Writing about the ways God has led me, cements the experience in my own head and has the possibility to bless others at the same time.
As my heart has begun to really heal from the divorce and subsequent hurts from others, I have found the same strong desire to write again. Writing seems to be part of who God created me to be and with starting to write again, I am reclaiming I am in Jesus. Not all of my writing is happy. Some is very sad or angry. However, God is with me in all that! My objective is to encourage other hurt, human sinners to not let go of Jesus. He is there all the time.
He loves screwed up sinners like me! He loves screwed up sinners like you! In fact, He is so crazy about you, He died for you.
Hoping you will be blessed with the personal experiences I will share.
