Sabbath School Lesson for April 20-26, 2019
Preview
Explored this week are the issues of…
- our need for companionship (Sunday)
- how marriage fits that need (Monday)
- what happens when a marriage ends (Tuesday)
- how to deal with the loss, when death interrupts a relationship (Wednesday)
- the spiritual loneliness of being alone in your faith (Thursday)
Introduction
If there’s one thing we know for sure about loneliness, it’s that it didn’t exist before Adam and Eve sinned. God’s intention was for humankind to enjoy not only His companionship, but that of each other.
Relationships on various levels are meant to enhance our existence. They are actually the purpose of our existence (God desires our friendship that much), so we feel it acutely when a relationship ends for any reason.
Families compound the problem of loneliness, brought about by any kind of loss. Therefore, we must be spiritually fortified to meet these challenges, and escape the most harmful effects of these threatening losses.
Not surprisingly, one of the tasks of the church family is to “pick up the slack”, so to speak, and encompass individuals, grieving and struggling to survive the dark, lonely times that can and do come to most of us.
Memory Text: “And the Lord God said,’It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’ ” Genesis 2:18 NKJV
Marriage should and can be the most satisfying relationship we enjoy on this earth. God foresaw Adam’s need and fulfilled it by creating Eve–just for him. Just as the Father and the Son are equal, the husband and wife were both created in His image to illustrate the relationship that exists in the godhead. See Genesis 1:27.
But, of course, sin has changed God’s perfect plan, and we are now faced with the fracture and loss of many of our relationships, resulting in unspeakable, emotional hardships for even the most spiritually-minded among us.
Let’s discover this week the best way to withstand these common attacks of loneliness. We can rejoice in the fact that God also has a plan for our survival of these deeply-felt losses and that God doesn’t leave us totally alone in our loneliest times.
Sunday: Companionship
In order to understand the feelings of loneliness, it would help us to remember the reasons we find our companions in life so necessary and enjoyable.
King Solomon expounded on the value of friends in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12:
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion…Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
These verses tell us that for reasons of safety, both physical and spiritual, we need to cling to one another and help each other through the trials in life we surely face from time to time.
Knowing that Adam had the companionship of God, even before the creation of Eve, might better help us cling to that sacred relationship when something disrupts and destroys one of our human ties of friendship. Indeed, making God our closest Friend, is probably our safest method of surviving our loneliness and grief, when a human relationship ends.
Discussion Questions:
Read Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 and Matthew 18:20. Why is it beneficial to have good Christian friends?How do these verses support corporate worship?
Read John 16:32, 33. Why is Jesus so able to understand the feelings of being forsaken? How and why does God give us peace, even in the midst of great human losses?
Read Philippians 4:10-13. How did the Philippian church’s generosity to Paul affect his feelings about them? What can our churches today do to help people with loneliness? Why is it important to be close to the Lord, even before trials of separation occur?
Monday: The Unmarried Life
Although much value has been attributed to the sacrament of marriage, thankfully we see examples in the Bible of successful saints of God, serving Him faithfully without the benefits of marriage. Paul recognized the value of unmarried people, fulfilling missions for God. And we can understand his reasoning.
There are some places and populations needing evangelism that are better met by an unmarried individual, who can respond immediately and not uproot and affect family members with their choice of service.
One should not feel pressured to marry. God has used several people in the Bible, both married and unmarried, as illustrations of various lessons of faith during times of loss and separation:
- Jeremiah was told not to marry (Jeremiah 16:1-3)
- Ezekiel’s was told not to mourn the death of his wife (Ezekiel 24:15-18)
- Hosea was told to marry a prostitute, who would later leave him for other lovers (Hosea 1-3)
Discussion Questions:
Read 1 Corinthians 7:25-27, 31-33. Why does Paul make it clear in verse 25 that his views about marriage are not based on a commandment from the Lord, but on his own experience and trustworthy counsel? What was Paul’s concern about the world that made him advise against seeking to be married, if you were unmarried?
Read Jeremiah 16:1, 2, 9, Ezekiel 24: 16, 18, 19, 20, 23, Hosea 2:2. What caused loneliness for these prophets and why did God use them as illustrations/messages to be conveyed to the people?
Read Romans 12:1, 2. Why is it preferable to follow God’s will in the matter of marriage? Why is it difficult to understand His will at times, and how can we know that we have done our very best in discovering that will?
Tuesday: When a Marriage Ends
Besides death in a family, divorce is considered one of the most difficult crises we face. It can result in emotions we may have never experienced before, but can suddenly overwhelm us with their intensity and duration.
Grief, fear, anger, depression, and loneliness are common hurdles faced after a divorce or separation, and can be felt by all those in a family, not just the spouses who are involved.
God has provided much counsel for us in His word about marriage and divorce. It is definitely in the best interest of the church to be especially proactive in ministering to members in all matters concerning marriage.
Some of the resources a church might include would be…
- counseling for engaged couples
- courses providing information for parents about prenatal care and child quidance/discipline
- programs of support for broken marriages and families
Discussion Questions:
Read Malachi 2:16 and Matthew 19:8. Why is God opposed to divorce? Why did He make allowances for it?
Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. How is the world’s view of love different from this description? Why is it so difficult for us, even as Christians, to see what love really looks like? How and why is it possible and necessary for Christians to live up to these high standards of love?
Read Galatians 6:1 and Matthew 7:1. Why is it easier for us to judge someone rather than try to restore them spiritually? Why is humility (or gentleness) needed in efforts to restore someone?
Wednesday: Death and Loneliness
Perhaps one reason why death is such a difficult topic, let alone situation to endure, is because God never planned for us to experience it in the first place. We aren’t made for death. It was God’s desire for us to live forever, providing mutual benefits of love and companionship for humans and our divine Maker throughout eternity.
But, sadly, sin has made death a reality for all of us. Saints and sinners alike are touched by it. The pain and suffering that comes with it are felt by families across the world, all through history.
There’s no way to soften the blow that comes when a loved one dies, no matter what the circumstances. All we can hope for is enough faith, peace, and comfort to pull us through the darkest hours and to keep us going until our own mission on earth is complete.
We will never understand fully the reason for death’s existence, but we can trust that God will be there to help us pick up the pieces and move on. Remember that He, too, suffered grief after the death of His Son on a cruel cross.
Once again, the church has a potential opportunity for helping families survive those tumultuous times of loneliness, brought on by the death of someone they hold dear. Let’s not forget to reach out to those who may be grieving and find ways to make their lives a little less lonely.
Discussion Questions:
Read Isaiah 57:1 and Revelation 21:4. How can we gain comfort from thinking of death for the righteous as a removal from evil? How do God’s promises give us added support when we need them most?
Read Matthew 5:4 and 1 Thessalonian 4:17, 18. What are some thoughts about dying that should bring us comfort?
Read 2 Samuel 18:33 and Genesis 37:34. Why is the loss of a child especially hard to bear?
Thursday: Spiritually Single
There are times and circumstances that place you as an outsider when it comes to your faith. Perhaps you join a faith community that is different from the rest of the family, and maybe even all your friends. That can be a lonely experience, especially when they not only differ with you over spiritual matters, but maybe even prove hostile in their interactions with you, due to your choice of religion. (Remember, that’s probably how Abram felt when God told him to move away from most of his family, even if it meant living in tents.)
It can be lonely indeed too if you are in a very small minority of the population who are Christians, perhaps in a mission field somewhere far away.
But perhaps the loneliest of all these scenarios is the one that involves a married couple. When your spouse, who should be your closest faith partner, doesn’t share your faith, for whatever reason, it can be overwhelmingly lonely and disheartening at times.
At church, we must be on the lookout for individuals who fall into these categories of lonely people. Single parents, widows/widowers, and recently-divorced couples are easy to spot and to support. But those who attend church without their spouses may not be as easily recognized. They are also bearing an emotional burden that should not be overlooked. They, too, need us to make them feel welcome, supported, and included in every way possible.
Discussion Questions:
Read Isaiah 54:5. What is it about God that makes Him an able partner, someone even as close to us as our spouse? When are some times when we are especially in need of thinking of God as our husband (or wife), our closest partner in life?
Read Hosea 2:19, 20 and Genesis 4:1. How is “knowing” God like “knowing” our spouse? What level of intimacy does God desire from His children, but what does He usually get? What ways might we use to deepen our relationship with Him?
Read Psalm 72:12, Genesis 2:18. Who is someone with “no helper”? Why is God especially tender toward those without a spouse? What does He deliver them from?
And, finally…
Genesis reveals that even before Adam and Eve sinned, God was anxious to solve Adam’s problem of loneliness, and to provide him with a solution by forming Eve, as an earthly companion and soul mate.
It shouldn’t surprise us, with sin separating us from God, that mankind is now in even more need of human companionship. Yes, loneliness is always just around the corner as we move from one life stage to another. Each has its own aspect of loneliness to battle.
A lot of family life is involved in this problem of loneliness. Marriages are often Satan’s target, and the church must do its best in supporting those who feel the brunt of this emotion.
The church is designed to fulfill the need for companionship. We are meant to worship and serve Him in a corporate way, helping each other to eliminate loneliness from our lives by filling it with a love that includes us all. What are you doing for the lonely brothers and sisters, who are likely sitting close to you on the pew every week? Shouldn’t our ministry start there?
Next Week’s Lesson: Wise Words for Families
To read the Sabbath School Lesson Quarterly or see more resources for its study, go to https://www.absg.adventist.org/
Other Outlook blogposts by Teresa Thompson, are at http://outlookmag.org/author/teresathompson/
To hear a podcast about Sabbath Schoolthat features two of Outlook’s bloggers, Connie Nelson and I:
