Sabbath School Lesson for May 18-24, 2019
Overview
Looking at the season of being parents, this week we observed…
- what it means for a couple when children are not in the home (Childless Parenting–Sunday)
- the impact of being a single parent (Single Parenting–Monday)
- the importance of teaching children about God (The Joy and Responsibility of Parenting–Tuesday)
- the way parents can make disciples of those in their care (Parenting as Disciple-Making–Wednesday)
- how families are affected when children stray (Fighting for Your Prodigal Child–Thursday)
Introduction
Having a child at any time of life and under any circumstance has a life-changing effect on those involved. The season of parenting is perhaps one of the most significant one of all for most couples.
God has given men and women the gift of procreation, and it has the potential to draw us closer to God who created us. Our role as parents is similar to the role of God in all of our lives.
When we take our parental duties seriously, children, even with all the trials they bring, can turn out to be one of our greatest blessings. They are the best gift God could endow on mankind.
Therefore, we must do all we can to educate ourselves in the way God would have us bring up our children. There are countless examples in the Bible of ways to parent and ways not to parent. Seeing the results of both can help us make better choices in our own families.
Here are some appreciative mothers in Scripture who totally felt the wonder of having children:
- Eve (how she must have marveled at the birth of her first son, Cain)
- Sarah (way past her childbearing years, was surprised and thrilled at the birth of Isaac)
- Hannah (her barren womb finally bore the child she had prayed for–Samuel)
- Mary (knowing she carried Jesus, the Son of God, had to have amazed her)
Memory Text: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” Psalm 127:3 NKJV
This whole chapter (Psalm 127) encompasses the thrill and responsibility of making the most of our parenting years. The influence parents have on their children matches the influence children have on their parents. The benefits and joys go both ways.
Families in general are enriched by the presence of little ones, and, with appropriate care and supervision, they can continue to bless their parents as they mature into adult servants of God.
Good choices are important, not only for parents, but for children. God’s intends for all in the family to serve Him by honoring Him and each other. When this happens, the season of parenting becomes the greatest family season of all.
Sunday: Childless Parenting
Of course, there are many valid reasons a couple may not have children. Whether it’s by choice or not, this situation should not prevent us from supporting them and doing all we can to make childless couples feel comfortable and socially included, especially in the church setting.
Some couples see all the pain and suffering around them, and just decide not to bring any more children into such a world. Some may decide to adopt, but others may not feel adequate or able to do so. It’s a personal choice we must respect, even when it comes from our closest relatives.
No matter what the reason for a couple to be childless, they can, if they choose, be a blessing to the children of others in the church family or in their own extended families. Or, they can serve God in numberless ways that don’t involve youth.
We must remember that there are times too, as described by some in the Bible, when not having a child can be a difficult burden. We saw how Sarah and Hannah, prior to having their miracle babies, suffered emotionally and socially for their inability to bear children. We must do all we can to understand the sorrow both husband and wife experience when infertility seems to be a stumbling-block for them in having children.
Discussion Questions:
Read Psalm 56:8, 9 and Romans 8:31. How do we know God hears our prayers?
Read Genesis 18:11, 1 Samuel 1:5, and Luke 1:7. How do these miracle births mirror the birth of Jesus, the greatest miracle of all? Why did God bless each of these women with children (Isaac, Samuel, and John), but other couples don’t get their prayers for a child answered?
Read Psalm 103:6, 13, 14. When does justice come for those who continue to suffer, despite prayers for a different outcome?
Monday: Single Parenting
Another common family dynamic, especially in today’s world, is the family with only one parent in the home. Whether it be a man or woman, this unfortunate circumstance is not unheard of, even in the Bible.
For example, Hagar became a single parent when she was forced to leave Abraham’s household with her son Ishmael. Elijah found a widowed mother in the village of Zarephath, who helped him survive the drought and famine in the land by offering him her last loaf of bread. God didn’t forsake them in these difficult situations. He miraculously showed them ways their prayers were heard (Hagar), and their compassionate service was noticed by God (the widow of Zarephath).
For single parents and others, God has promised to…
- give us rest (Matthew 11:28)
- fill and replenish our weary souls (Jeremiah 31:25)
- give us hope for the future (Jeremiah 29:11)
- provide us with direction in life (Proverbs 3:5, 6)
- be with us through the really tough times (Isaiah 43:1, 2)
Yes, the promises of God to single parents (and others struggling with trials and hardships) are bountiful in the Bible. But just because God has promised to take care of them does not eliminate our responsibility as a church to provide aid and support those in unfortunate circumstances, no matter what caused them to be in that position.
“Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” James 1:27 NKJV
Discussion Questions:
Read Genesis 16:3, 4, 21:16, 17 and Matthew 5:45, 46. Why must we be careful not to judge people in need? How can we distribute aid in a manner that doesn’t make people feel we are judging them for their behavior?
Read Jeremiah 31:25 and 29:11, and 32:27. What are some of the benefits of a relationship with God, and why are they especially important for single parents?
What are some ways to help single parents in the church and in the community?
Tuesday: The Joy and Responsibility of Parenting
Besides the wonderful words for parents in Psalm 127, such as “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it,” and “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord”, we also find some practical tips in Deuteronomy 6:4-9.
The prerequisites for being good parents, according to Deuteronomy 6 are…
- to recognize “the Lord our God” (v. 4)
- to love Him fully from the heart (v. 5)
- to treasure His word (v. 6)
- to share with our children what we know about God (v. 20-23)
This sharing occurs when we incorporate two instructional principles, which are…
- the “teach-talk” principle (Deuteronomy 6:7)
- the teaching part consists of formal instruction, such as what occurs during family worship times
- the talking part consists of informal instruction, which is spontaneously using everyday events to communicate Bible truth
- the “bind-write” principle (Deuteronomy 6:8, 9)
- spiritual truth that is shown by our actions (“bind them as a sign on your hand”)
- spiritual truth that is shown by our attitude (“shall be as frontlets between your eyes”)
Discussion Questions:
Read Deuteronomy 6:4-9. What are the prerequisites for being a good parent (v. 4-6)?
Read Psalm 127:3-5. How are children like arrows? Is this passage encouraging large families, and why or why not?
Read Psalm 78:5-8. How does knowing the law (v. 5) contribute to remembering the works of God and having hope in Him (v. 7)? Why is keeping the law as important as knowing it (v. 7-8)?
Wednesday: Parenting as Disciple-Making
Many have used verses in Proverbs about using a rod of correction as a mandate for forcing children into submission. But there are also numerous biblical passages about using kindness, setting a good example, and not provoking children to anger that more clearly describe what parenting is all about.
The shepherd’s rod is used for many purposes, but mostly in a way that gently guides the sheep to a place of safety and provision. A shepherd who neglects using his rod for that purpose will not be able to keep his flock together.
We see a sharp contrast between the guidance provided by Abraham and Eli, for example.
- Abraham–“For I have known him [Abraham], in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord…” Genesis 18:19 NKJV
- Eli–“…because his sons made themselves vile, and he [Eli] did not restrain them.” 1 Samuel 3:13 NKJV
Sadly, we see stories in the Bible of parents mismanaging their households, which led to children making the same mistakes as their parents. We see this in the lives of…
- Isaac and Rebekah, who played favorites with Jacob and Esau, (and Jacob did the same with his son Joseph)
- Eli, the high priest, in failing to correct his older sons, (led to Samuel’s failure to do the same with his sons)
- David, who became an adulterer and murderer, (was followed by Solomon, and many of his other children, committing the same sins)
- King Manasseh sacrificed his children to pagan gods, (as did his son Ahaz)
There are other examples of good parenting, however. Mordecai was a wonderful adoptive father to his niece Hadassah, who later became Queen Esther. And we mustn’t forget Job, who prayed regularly for his children.
Parenting, when done right, is a great tool for making disciples of God’s children. Therefore, this season of parenting deserves all the attention and effort we can give it.
Discussion Questions:
Read Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21. What should we do and not do, in disciplining our children, and why?
Read 1 Timothy 3: 1-5, 12. What does it mean for children to be submissive in a reverent way? Why is it important for church leaders to be good at managing their own households?
Read Titus 2:1-4. What advice is there here for grandparents? And why is their influence so widely felt?
Thursday: Fighting for Your Prodigal Child
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 NKJV
Many parents have misunderstood this verse. They feel that when a child or adult strays from the values of the family that they, the parents, were somehow defective in their training or discipline.
Instead we should remember that being a good parent is our choice, but children have choices in life as well, and we aren’t responsible for the faulty direction they may or may not take in life.
We should also remember that God loves our children more than we do, and accept that that they are God’s works in progress. He too has felt the heartache of children turning away. But, fortunately, the seeds we have planted in our children, no matter how small, will remain with them and have the potential to bear fruit at any time.
Discussion Questions:
Read Proverbs 22:6. Although several ways have been suggested to interpret this verse, what parenting principle do you think it is trying to convey?
Read Philippians 1:3-6. How does prayer affect the person prayed for and the person doing the praying?
Read Philippians 3:13. Why is it important for parents to forget the past and look to the future?
And, finally…
Proverbs 22:6 (“Train up a child in the way he should go…”) is probably the most well-known and quoted verse in the Old Testament on parenting. It seems to either provide irrational hope that a prodigal child will return, or produce unfounded guilt, causing regrets about parenting choices made in the past.
These two themes must be taken into consideration when examining the context of the verse, however.
- Keeping in mind that free will is extended to all of us frees us from some of the guilt. We can’t determine the choices of our children, especially our adult ones (helping us deal with the past).
- Also, understanding the nature of sin, how it pulls on the heart of everyone to some extent, but we are offered a new, spiritual birth as well (helping us with the future).
Next Week’s Lesson: Times of Loss
To read the Sabbath School Lesson Quarterly or see more resources for its study, go to https://www.absg.adventist.org/
Other Outlook blogposts by Teresa Thompson, are at http://outlookmag.org/author/teresathompson/
