This is the Messy Middle. People call it different things, but basically, it’s when you’ve begun something and the newness has worn off, but the end is not yet in sight. Donald Miller compares it to crossing a body of water in a row boat. While the shore is receding quickly, we feel pumped—we’re making such progress. And again at the end, when we can see the shore getting nearer and nearer, we’re focused, maybe even energized.
But out in the middle of the water, when it seems no progress is being made, it can get very dull and disheartening.
That happens to be where we are in the pandemic and it’s hard.
In March some of us felt relief as our social calendars cleared and sports, TV and movies were canceled. But after a time, we started to miss these things. Some of us missed them all along.
And now, the school year has begun and fall is near. Our culture tends treat this season as a natural reset, even if we aren’t going back to school. The cooler temperature gives us energy and ambition that gives way to things like fall cleaning. If the year had a circadian rhythm, fall would be getting up refreshed from an afternoon nap. Have you noticed planners are now available that begin in July? I was tempted to buy one just to feel I was starting over.
So in some ways we are revving up and some of us already want to decorate for fall and plan Christmas. Then we remember: we’re still in a pandemic. We don’t know how much family gathering there will be. We don’t know if flu season will make things worse. Some of us are living through financial loss and others the loss of loved ones. This is disheartening and we don’t know how long it will last. When we dare to hope and plan for the best, plans often fall flat. So what do we do in the messy middle? How do we cope?
We remember the messy middle is a universal experience, so we are not alone. It looks different on all of us, but we are all in it. Some of us crack by being super-duper careful; some of us crack by throwing caution to the wind. Some of us go back and forth between the two. Some of us shout at the people we love. If we know this is hard on humans and no one needs to be “over it” we can get extra gentle in the messy middle. It’s okay to ease up on people when they’re tired, including our selves. And remember that Jesus, the King of Grace is here with us in the messy middle. He’s not shocked when we lose our marbles over small things. We can accept His grace for ourselves and extend it to each other, knowing He will stay with us until the distant shore begins to get closer.
