Have you ever been to a place where you felt unwelcome? Maybe it was at a middle-grade slumber party, a workspace, or even the local church. Maybe you have been made to feel unwelcome in your own town, your own home, your own family.

Some believe the loneliness epidemic is more serious than any other global concern today.

One of the worst feelings in the world is to be excluded in a group or place where you should be included and accepted—embraced even. All too often this particular type of loneliness plagues Christians. Some people are most lonely at church. Some people dread it. Some will keep going to family functions, reunions, and holidays despite the pain it causes them. When the church family is the one doing the excluding, church members may keep attending, despite the pain it causes them.

What can we do for them?  How can we make our local church and our Sabbath more inviting and inclusive to every one of God’s children?

Who Feels Unwelcome?

In the church, just as in elementary school, we can tell who is left out. We can see the outcasts. They come in, don’t speak, don’t connect or interact. Sometimes they have their feelings hurt. Sometimes you might be the one that hurt them. Do you know of someone hurting in your church this Sabbath? Is it someone who, despite a conflict on earth you’d like to see in heaven?

What Can You Do About It?

Truth be told, we don’t often want to interact with them. It’s awkward. It’s outside of our comfort zone. Yet, sometimes our comfort zone is the worst thing for us and for those around us. Sometimes it can hurt. If the problem is a conflict, you’re blessed to know a Savior who is a master at resolving conflict! If the problem is they’re a little quirky, you can meet them at a place where you’re the same.

• Sit closer
  We tend to sit in “assigned seats” while at church. This Sabbath, sit closer to the people God has put on your heart.
• Talk more
  You don’t have to talk during church, but while everyone chats before or after service, find the people left alone. Small talk means the world when you feel like the only one in the world!
• Old-fashioned invitations
  There was a time when people invited other people to their homes for dinner, worship, Sabbath lunch, coffee, and more. Move away from the idea that people don’t need community. You do and they do. Invite them home.
• Ask God for help
  You may not know how to reach out to those feeling unwelcome at church, but God does. Once you know who needs you at your church, add them to your prayers. Ask God to help you befriend them. Ask Him for help welcoming them.
• Change your mindset
  In order to make the church more welcoming, people need to be more welcoming. It takes a change in mindset. It takes vulnerability. It takes one person doing one thing to make someone feel welcome.

Sometimes the place you’re supposed to feel the most welcome can be the most lonely place in the universe.

If you’re feeling unwelcome at church, hang in there, there will be a post for you in the future. Until then, hang in there. You’re not alone when you’re lonely.