Listening to the presenters of the 2019 EndItNow conference, I gained an understanding of what the term spiritual abuse means. While it can be expressed in well-known ways like physical or sexual abuse (done in the name of God or religion) the descriptions that struck me most were the following:
-The requirement to submit to a spiritual authority without right to dissent
-Unreasonable control of a person’s right to exercise freewill in spiritual or natural matters
-False accusations and criticism by labeling a person as, for example, disobedient, rebellious, lacking faith, an enemy of the church or God.
I’m afraid these tendencies have shaped Adventist culture for as long as I can remember. Have you ever felt afraid to raise a question because you didn’t want to be seen as a trouble-maker? Have you ever hidden behaviors you knew in your heart were right for you because people would judge them as unchristian? Have you felt something the church did in practice was not Biblical and dread the immediate resistance to your opinion? Have you been condemned when you wanted to share a new idea or way of doing things?
Have you ever hidden behaviors you knew in your heart were right for you because people would judge them as unchristian?
This desire to control people’s beliefs and behavior is not Christlike. Jesus stands at the door and knocks. One of the greatest expressions of love is allowing someone freedom to be themselves. To show us this love, God risked everything and it cost Him Jesus’s own life. No matter how good our intentions, trying to control what our kids or friends believe undermines the free will Jesus laid his life down to protect. If we would be on the Lord’s side, we must choose not to violate another person’s conscience.
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. Revelation 3:20
