Do you get frustrated with praying? I’ve hit walls when it comes to talking to Godde. Usually, I notice I’m not praying and then ask myself why. My reasons vary from feeling brain dead to being at a loss to know what to ask for to being bored by listening to myself talk about the same thing. One time, I avoided acknowledging God’s presence because I could ignore my vast emotional pain anywhere but there. The pain scared me and when I forced myself to write out a prayer to God, my tears tried to drown me and I told Her I didn’t know when I’d be back.
The thing is, I know Godde likes my honesty. Even when we’re duking it out, I think She’s just glad I still care. Caring is a marathon on this planet and caring is the beginning of prayer. But sometimes our hope gets thin and caring in a prayer that pours out your soul to God is more than you can expend. This is where Anne Lamott helped me out. She told me prayers can be short, like, Help. And prayers can be brutal. She always prays for the kid to live.
Caring is a marathon on this planet and caring is the beginning of prayer.
I pray for trafficked kids, parents in Ukraine and my own heart that’s sad about a dream in shards on the floor. It all gets heavy and praying feels like too much. When I can’t compose, I say to Godde every morning, I need You, and imagine Her saying, “I’m right here.” Then I say, Hi. Or sometimes, ironically, I say, Oh, thank Godde!
At night I bring to mind some people I want to pray for and say, May they have the rest their bodies need and dreams to process their pain. May they have warm feelings, true thoughts and energy for tomorrow. I include myself in that prayer. It’s not the phone call where you chat with your bestie for hours, but I know when I’m reduced to a silent nod, Godde will hold the line.
p.s. Also, don’t get down on yourself for asking. Asking gets a bad rap when it comes to prayer, but Jesus said to go for it, so I do. If a person’s paying attention, there’s no end of things we could ask to change into the likeness of Godde’s kingdom. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done, here, like it is there.
And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. Romans 8:26
