If you’ve lived on planet Earth for very long, you’ve probably come in contact with some difficult folks. Coworkers, family, friends, acquaintances–you can find difficult people no matter where you are, or what you’re doing.
You may expect to have difficult relationships at work, but what if the people at your church are difficult to work with? Or the summer camp? What about the volunteer or professional organization? How do you manage these scenarios?
Iron Sharpens Iron?
Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (ESV). We quote this verse a lot, but we often overlook the deeper meaning behind the verse. Iron is arguably the most appropriate substance to compare with a difficult person, but it’s also unrivaled in strength and resilience. However, the way that iron sharpens iron is through heat (lots of it), and friction! So what can a Christian do when confronted with some iron?
1. Embrace Patience and Forgiveness
One of the foundational principles in the Bible is forgiveness. In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter asks Jesus how often he should forgive someone who sins against him. Jesus replies, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” This passage highlights the importance of an ongoing willingness to forgive, even when it’s difficult. Patience is also emphasized in Ephesians 4:2, which urges us to “be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Patience allows us to give others the grace we often need ourselves.
2. Seek Reconciliation
Romans 12:18 advises, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This verse acknowledges that while we can’t control the actions of others, we are responsible for our own. Our actions should seek peace and reconciliation. Whether through honest communication, seeking counsel, or offering an olive branch, the Bible encourages us to actively work toward mending broken relationships.
3. Guard Your Heart
Proverbs 4:23 reminds us “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” When dealing with difficult relationships, it’s crucial to protect our hearts from bitterness, anger, and resentment. This doesn’t mean closing ourselves off emotionally, but rather being mindful of the negative emotions that can take root and influence our actions.
4. Love Unconditionally
The ultimate biblical principle in handling difficult relationships is love. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, love is described as patient, kind, not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Loving unconditionally doesn’t mean accepting harmful behavior, but it does mean choosing to act in love even when it’s hard. It’s about seeking the best for the other person and reflecting the love God has for us.
A Balanced Sword
Difficult relationships are inevitable, but they don’t have to define us or steal our peace. By applying these biblical principles—patience, forgiveness, reconciliation, guarding our hearts, and unconditional love—we can navigate challenging relationships with wisdom and grace. Remember, it’s not about being perfect, but about striving to reflect God’s love in all our interactions.
Iron sharpens iron, and sharpened iron can become a sword. The interesting thing about swords is that they can be used equally defensively and offensively. Your iron won’t become sharpened by throwing it into the dirt in rage, or by throwing it at a person (we’ve felt like it at times). It is only sharpened against the iron of another.
My prayer is that everyone reading this can endure the heat and keep hold of the sword against difficulty. It will sharpen and you will grow stronger by holding fast. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll be stronger together.
