If you’re reading this blog post, you have found time to sit down at the computer or with your phone in hand and are making time to read something. Maybe you genuinely like to read my weekly posts or one of your friends shared it on social media. Whatever the reason, I’m so happy you’re here. Now we can talk about everything we’re all doing wrong this season and how to be okay with it.

Stores and Pinterest boards are filled with books, inspiration, and tips for “surviving Christmas”. Let’s not survive Christmas. Let’s come alive!

The main reason why we often feel overwhelmed and under-water during the holidays is because we’re trying to do too much, spend more money, and generally have less time to spend on making all the magic happen. This combined with nostalgia, traveling, and traditions create expectations that we sometimes cannot measure up to.

There is a reason that the holidays are a major time for depression, suicide, and substance abuse.

When you’re trying to do it all and you don’t measure up; when you’re trying to cook for 15 people and you only have the money for the usual 5; when you see extended family and want to put on a successful, happy facade–all this can add to an already stressed mind, family, and budget. Sometimes there isn’t anything you can do to help yourself or change the situation except to change your mindset about it.

Tips for Managing Holiday Stress

You can’t let bills go unpaid this season, but you can change your mindset about the finances you do have. You can’t get time back that was spent stressing over decorations and gift-wrapping, but you can make the most of the time you have left. You may not be able to spend Christmas with your family, but you can still connect with them as best you can.

• Invite someone to your home! Instead of buying individual gifts for everyone you love, host a holiday movie night or simple sock or ornament exchange. The result: everyone pitches in, everyone leaves with a gift, everyone has fun.
• Make gifts from scratch. If you make art to sell online, you can make it as gifts. If you have a talent for origami, make a thoughtful surprise for the employees in your office. If you have a knack for baking, give out cookies, candies, or chocolate covered-anything!
• Invest in experiences. Instead of buying expensive presents that will break and be discarded in a few short weeks or months, opt for an experience to remember all year. Take a vacation, road trip, or even just a simple day trip on Christmas day.
• Avoid the hassle and stress of getting your house ready for guests and meet in a restaurant party room for your festivities instead.
• Only say yes to necessary engagements that will enrich and fuel you. There’s only one thing worse than an unhappy party guest and that’s an unhappy party host. Attend the things you’re excited to attend and respectfully decline all other invitations.
• Take time to return to the classics: handwriting holiday cards, home-style cooking, flannel and PJ photos in the living room. These things are free (and fun).
• Reach out to your tribe for support and love. I say this all the time, call your mama. If you don’t have a mama, call the next best thing–your dad, sister, brother, best friend past or present. Connect with others even if it’s just to catch up or say hello and Merry Christmas. Just do it. You are not alone.
• Take an opportunity to share with others. Spread joy and joy will return to you. Bless others and blessings will return to you. Smile, hold a door, carry a grocery bag, say Ma’am and Sir, visit a nursing home, deliver a batch of cookies, cook for the homeless.
• Make it your mission to reach out to the family or friends that are distant this year. They may need a connection themselves. They may need support and encouragement.

Christmas is just days away now and you may still be way behind. Maybe it passed you by because you were so busy or stressed. The worst thing is to wake up on December 25 with stress or regrets over how you’ve spent the season. By then it’s over and too late.

If you’re looking for meaningful Christmas traditions, check out this Advent story.

Consider sending holiday cards and encouragement to missionaries working overseas or military families.

Don’t forget also to pray for others during the holidays. Pray for your church’s pastoral family, for your conference leadership, and your local church members.