My, my, my… Its been a long time since I’ve blogged… My deepest apologies for everyone out there sitting and waiting with bated breath for my next post. Life is so insane, and I’m realizing it more and more as I get older. My fire for this blog was strong to begin with and then petered out, much like a lot of things I do unfortunately. Can ya relate a little?? So rather than recapping my entire life events between now and my last post, how about I just start over from where I am now…
School has started back up again and all us kids are coming back down from Christmas break’s cloud nine. Over break, I went to Sea Island, Georgia with some friends and their family. Let me just say, its a magnificent and ritzy place. I’d never experienced that before, but it was amazing! Many memories were made and we all had a great time. A lot of the time was spent playing Call of Duty: Black Ops on the Xboxes that my friends had brought along. Yeah, you’re thinking… “Seriously? Video games on a perfectly good vacation?” Pathetic. I know. But guys will be guys, and we definitely were and still are guys, therefore, we play video games on elaborate vacations. Aside from the visually stimulating games, we all sat around and played Apples to Apples for a good hour or two. That was lots of fun! I love that game…
The rest of my break was full of… well, nothing really. Lots of sitting at home, playing video games, hanging with friends, video games, movies, music, video games, a little writing, no reading, did I say video games?
Over the past few weeks of Christmas break, I’ve really fallen far from God. I can’t put a finger on why this has been happening. I just felt… rebellious for some reason. I started not caring about things: what I say, what I do, what I think about. Everything was free flowing and out there. I suppose it may have been due to some events in my life previous and during break, but I’d never experienced anything quite like this before. I feel like I’ve been a little kid, being stubborn, crossing my arms, pouting, not talking, not listening, not caring. God’s been trying to tell me what’s good for me and what I should be doing. He’s been subtly (sometimes not so subtly) telling me to write. He’s like “Josh… you’re my boy and very dear to me… but seriously… HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU TO START WRITING AGAIN??? … love you. hehe.”
Its like I’ve been searching for what I’m supposed to be doing and the whole time it was right (write) in front of me. I’m supposed to be writing! Anything and everything! Almost as if I’m seeing the sun come up for the first time… I gotta right. I hope I’m write. Haha.
To everyone out there that is reading this (hopefully more than just my dear Mother), I’m starting over and looking forward to the future. MY future, laid out in front of me by God. All I gotta do… is follow it.
Against the Flow,
Josh Marshall
I appreciate your authenticity, Josh. I think all of us feel turbulent sometimes like you are describing, particularly when things happen that we think God might have prevented but instead He let happen. Whatever we are going through, He can deal with, and it seems you clearly understand that. Thank you for bringing refreshing honesty to our website.
Martin
Hey Josh your write about righting. hehe–Glad God is working on your brain and your heart. He has big plans for you.
Josh,
I have often felt the same way about writing. It is one of the neatest way to explore my thoughts and feelings about God. And like you, I also “need” to write more. Thanks for putting this feeling into words. It inspired me again.
Welcome back Josh! I can now release my “bated breath”!
Excited also to read about the CVA revival (and the expected satanic opposition) in your other posts. Grr…wish it could just be happy Christian life with no angry devil…guess that’s not here for us, but There. Must be some good to come out of all of this. You’re on the write side! And your proud mother and I are reading your righting write along with you ;).
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